Q & A Table of Contents
Questions and Responses
From: Noor, Bahrain
Dear Noor,
1. What is the general definition for negotiation?
Negotiation is the mechanism by which people trade things of value in a civilized manner.
2. What are the types of negotiations?
There are many types of negotiations; however there appear to be two contrary philosophies. The first may be characterized as 'take the money and run' in which a negotiator does not consider the concerns of any other party than himself or herself. All this negotiator cares about is 'winning'.
The second, which I think is far more effective, focuses on the interests of the stakeholders who stand to derive some sort of consequence or result from the process. 'Interest-based negotiation' is utilized by someone who takes a long-term approach, realizing that most negotiations are episodes in ongoing relationships or may in fact be the transaction that creates the relationship.
Cultural issues have an impact on the choreography of negotiation: in the soukh,if I simply accept the first price proposed by a merchant, I have ruined his/her day. Negotiation can be understood as a rewarding human interaction. When a child negotiates with his/her parents, the child is using an adult form of communication and the relationship gains the possibility of being transformed into one of greater equality and greater mutual reward.
3. What are the tactics and tricks used in negotiations?
The tactics and tricks used in negotiation fill many books. The simplest tests are whether parties consider they are being treated fairly and whether each party is honest with others. If a party attempts to mislead another to convince them to reach agreement, that is both unfair and dishonest. Americans use the expression: "If you cheat me once, shame on you. If you cheat me twice, shame on me."
4. What is your opinion in negotiation between man and man, woman and woman, and which one is the best?
You left out the possibility of negotiations between men and women. The same standards of fairness and honesty must apply in each case. My own personal experience, which is certainly not scientific, is that men have a greater tendency to be competitive and women are more likely to be cooperative or collaborative. But these generalities are loaded with exceptions, and I think the most important approach is to look at each negotiation as an independent event, where you can't simply go by a checklist. When a pilot begins the process of taking an airplane off the ground, the pilot has to go through a specific checklist in a specific order. In negotiation, the priority of procedural issues changes each time. Thus, even between a husband and wife it is possible to be surprised by a person one has known for many years. Negotiation is not predictable; it is the process that determines how well it will work.
Good luck with your negotiation activities.
Cordially,
Steve
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