Q & A Table of Contents
My Lack Of Confidence Hampers My Negotiation Effectiveness
From: Rania, Amman, Jordan
Question: I really feel I have a great deal of accurate information but I'm shy or I lose my temper or I lose information when negotiate. What can I do?
Response: The problem you raise is very common; but most people in that situation are often too shy to even ask for advice. So your question is already a sign of progress.
If you feel that you have a meaningful contribution to make to a decision-making process, most likely you will gain the confidence you need by preparing for the negotiation process. Think about why your ideas are important to you, how they might contribute something of value to the people with whom you will be negotiating, and what benefits can be derived by others as a result of the good negotiating you do.
From your email address it appears you are involved in healthcare. Perhaps you need to think how to negotiate with another healthcare professional. It may be that the negotiation relates to the allocation of power, goods, or resources between you and the other professional. However, if you also think about the benefits that may be derived by people receiving healthcare and by their families, you will begin to realize how important it is for you to contribute to the discussion.
As described in ‘Negotiating Skills for Managers’, there are three classes of stakeholders to consider in negotiations: the negotiators themselves, their constituents (bosses, colleagues, etc.), and OIPs (Other Interested Parties). If you prepare in advance by considering the possible outcomes for each of these three classes of stakeholders, you are likely to become more confident about making your points during negotiation.
Losing your temper is one thing to avoid when you negotiate. You should control your emotions rather than letting them control you. The very phrase ‘lose your temper’ contains the word ‘lose’ -- and what you are losing is control over yourself. Emotions can be employed to convince other people about issues that are important, but it only works effectively when emotions are used as part of a strategy. When you are not sure of yourself, when other parties surprise you it can be easy to ‘lose it’ and thus fail to deal effectively with the negotiation process.
Remember that everyone with whom you negotiate is a human being. While many people appear to be totally self-confident, you can still ask questions to get past that veneer and find out what interests are really driving their decisions. Put yourself in other the other party’s place — ask what you would do if you were them. Your greater understanding of the situation will give you greater confidence and increase your capacity to negotiate effectively.
Good luck,
Steve
| 
