Q & A Table of Contents
How Can I Find The Best Way To Assert Myself
From: Sara, Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Question: I am a manager at an alteration store, and I don't know how be assertive.
- Describe your decision-making style and comment on how it will assist or hinder your ability to use assertiveness effectively.
- Although we respond differently in different situations, we can often recognize patterns in our behavior. Keeping this in mind, describe your response style along the passive to aggressive continuum.
- What will be the most difficult aspect of your being assertive? If there are assertive behaviors that you are already using describe them.
- There are several techniques; which one do you think will be most relevant to you personally and why.
Response: The questions you ask are excellent questions each person should ask herself or himself because the correct answers vary for each individual. If I tell you what works for me, that is no help to you because we are two different people.
I suggest you write each of those questions at the top of a sheet of paper and then answer it for yourself. In addition, you should have one or more trusted friends or colleagues answer those questions about you and your style; their comments will be far more revealing and helpful than those of someone who knows nothing about you.
The critical element in determining how to be assertive is based on understanding why assertiveness is important. The value of assertiveness is derived from the degree to which it helps you achieve your objectives. So before you can be assertive, you need to have a reasonably clear understanding of what your objectives are: what you want, why you want it, and how best to achieve it. Once you understand yourself and can focus on your own priorities — and why they are worth pursuit, it will be less difficult to use clear thinking, assert your opinions, and pursue your objectives with greater success.
Good luck,
Steve
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