Q & A Table of Contents
What If One Of The Parties Walks Out?
From: Jeroen, Utrecht, Netherlands
Question: When you (as a mediator) are in the middle of a conversation with a employer and a employee to solve a conflict, and the employee stands up angry and walks out on us, what should you do?
Response: Mediation is a voluntary process. Unlike arbitration, which is imposes participation requirements, in mediation, parties who do not like the way things are going can walk out.
The real issue for the mediator is to find out whether a party who walks out is quitting the process or undertaking a strategic or tactical move. As mediator, after the passage of a reasonable amount of time, you should have a private conversation with the 'disappearing' party to find out why s/he left the mediation process. You may conclude you should follow the person out of the room to find out what is going on. On the other hand, it might make sense to wait several hours or even a day or two to give that person a chance to cool off.
A mediator needs to meet with the 'opposing' parties separately before the process begins as well as during the mediation. This will help you find out where there is common ground for agreement on some points and where there is conflict on others. You may hear conflict that contains the seeds of potential agreement. These private meetings are called 'caucuses', just in case you want the technical term.
When a party quits a mediation, it is important to understand the possible consequences: can s/he be fired? can s/he appeal to a higher authority within the company, a government agency, a labor union? can s/he threaten the other side with negative publicity, stirring up trouble with his/her colleagues?
A party who walks out of a mediation in a fit of temper may need a face-saving tool for re-entering the process. A good mediator helps create this face-saving re-entry through questions and a lot of listening. You can ask whether the angry party wants you to communicate any of their thoughts to the other side. If they use troublesome or insulting language, you may want to consider how to communicate their points using greater diplomacy but still making their point.
Walking out of mediation can provide a dramatic opportunity for changing the dynamics of the process. It may be the beginning of a breakthrough. Don't let it threaten you as the mediator; think of it as an opportunity to learn more about possible ways to resolve the problems.
Good luck with the process.
Steve
| 
