Q & A Table of Contents
If You’re Not Related, Nepotism Can Be A Problem
From: Bonnie, Clayon, New York
Question: I work for a family-run company. There are 7 family members who work here and all are managers - even though some don't deserve the title.
There are 3 people in my department: my manager, the Vice President of Sales/Marketing who is the sister of my manager, and me.
The Vice President takes credit for my ideas -- We brainstorm a lot and then she takes it to our meeting and talks as if she thought it all up on her own. She put me in charge of things, but then doesn't let me do it.
Its all family - how do I go to the VP when she is the sister of my manager?
Response: First to ask yourself is what alternatives you have: Can you move out of this company into a good job somewhere else? If you try to resolve this problem within the company, what impact might various approaches have on your comfort, your future career, and your relationships.
Think about the interests of your colleagues within your department and other folks within the company in your happiness, in the productivity of your segment of the company, and on other possible stakeholders. Who stands to gain or lose what by any of the possible results?
Try to find a creative solution within your current situation. For example, if your VP consistently takes credit for your ideas, why not either withhold your ideas from her entirely — or bring your manager into all conversations so that he knows the source of the ideas you suggest.
It is crucial to pay close attention to your interests: ego, career, relationships, and other elements that contribute to your comfort at work. Employees of family-owned companies generally get along either by being outstanding in their job performance and visibly crucial to the business’s success — or by hanging back and using their position as a means to accomplishing things within a narrow range (having a job, being responsible for activities that don’t relate too closely to the focus of family members. So figure out how you can make yourself into a visibly crucial element of the organization — or expect less of yourself in terms of your importance to the company.
You may also take another approach: carefully analyze the family’s dynamics within and outside of the business. Look for potential allies among the leaders of the company. Find very diplomatic ways to use one or more trusted members of the family as a mentor regarding your job-related concerns — and, hopefully, turn your mentor(s) into allies. If they advise you how to deal with other family members, take it with a grain of salt — and make sure you have an exit strategy in place. Then, try following their advice on small, relatively inconsequential things to see how that works out before going after the big issues.
Working in family-owned and –run companies is extremely difficult on the families; there are many academic institutes as well as trade groups focused on family businesses. But it is also difficult on non-family members. Perhaps choosing to work in a family-run company is riskier than the benefits.
Good luck,
Steve
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