Q & A Table of Contents
I’ve Got To Choose Between Two Jobs, But Don’t Want To Burn My Bridges
From: Iwona, Gliwice, Poland
Question: I am in very difficult situation now which is as follows:
I negotiated for a job with a new employer - ''X''. Because it required me to move abroad they made a lot of effort e.g. find accommodation, trainings etc..and agreed to cover essential cost related to above.
Meanwhile I received an offer from different company - ''Y'' which is for me personally much more challenging and promising for future and further development. The case is that the job offered by “Y” is just for a trial period and if I do not prove my skills I will not continue to be employed. So the job with “Y” carries a strong risk. However I would like to take this opportunity.
The question is how to reject the boss from the company ''X'' (to fight fires without burning bridges) that in case of my failure in firm ''Y'' I could still have chance to get this job? Please give me some of your best practice advice.
Response: You need to put yourself in the shoes of the two employers: which of them has gone to greater effort for you and to what extent did you ‘push’ X to deal with the issues of your change in location, etc.? The more work you made “X” do to improve your situation, the more likely the risk that the boss will be angry if you reject the job.
On the other hand, you need to take a serious look at your situation with “Y”. How much confidence do you have that you will survive the trial period and be offered a full-time position there? If you think there is a strong likelihood of failure, that should help you decide which is the wiser course for you.
Did you develop a good personal relationship with the boss at “X”? If you have a good relationship, you could take a chance and ask the boss for advice — explaining your situation and your concerns and asking what the boss would suggest you do. It would be wise for you to figure out whether your trial period (and training, etc.) at “Y” would make you more valuable to “X” later on. Would you develop skills or would your experience at “Y” make you likely to be a better investment for “X”?
You need to decide whether an honest conversation with the boss at “X” can keep him/her wanting to employ you if you become available in the future. Determine how you can avoid making the choice of “Y” over “X” sound like some sort of insult. For example, could you characterize your choice to start with “Y” at the beginning as something related to your home situation — where moving abroad is likely to be okay at a certain point in the future — but you would be far better off taking a ‘temporary’ job in Poland until you’re better able to travel.
Good luck,
Steve
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