Q & A Table of Contents
I’m Irreplaceable But My Son Wants Me To Move
From: Jill, Riverside, Rhode Island
Question: My son asked me to relocate to Oregon from Rhode Island in order to be close to my family.
I've started the long, tedious relocation hassle. I gave my boss of 15 years more than three months notice, but nobody wants my job. Applicants see my heavy job description and low pay, and they run for the hills.
If I decide to stay, do I have bargaining power. Is BATNA applicable for me? How would I negotiate for a higher salary before I burn my bridges?
Response: You raise two issues that appear separate, but are really intertwined. The first relates to your interest in moving closer to your family. You should ask yourself whether the proposed move is going to bring you closer to one set of very important people — but may bring other changes in your life about which you are less enthusiastic. Your analysis of this will help you figure out how to deal with your decision about your current job.
As regards the job — and everything else one negotiates — BATNA is always an element. You should always consider your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement — as well as that of other negotiating parties and others with an interest in the outcome.
If your boss’s response is strongly aimed at keeping you on the job, if you are rewarded by your work (leaving aside issues of pay and job description for the moment), and if staying on the job in your present location might outweigh the benefits of moving closer to your family — then your focus on negotiation with your employer will be better organized.
The way to assess your bargaining power with your boss is by figuring out what information he or she can provide you that tells you how much they want you to stay. You have to ask questions designed to elicit the information upon which you can base your proposals and your decisions. If they let you know you are ‘irreplaceable’, you need to indicate that you have a very attractive alternative in Oregon and that you can only stay where you are if there are specific changes in your pay, your conditions, or other elements of the job to keep you on the team.
Raising issues like these in a polite and reasonable way — and being prepared to walk away if they don’t respond favorably — is not likely to be viewed as an expression of hostility by you. Make sure you don’t put your boss in jeopardy of losing face — but make equally certain that you don’t agree to anything you’ll regret. You won’t burn bridges — and you may put out some fires that have been troubling you for a long time.
Good luck,
Steve
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