Q & A Table of Contents
How do I stop a dirty boss in my office?
From: Sanjit, Mumbai, India
Question: How do I stop a dirty boss in my office? She intentionally gives me more work than I can finish within the deadline and then complains to her boss that I am inefficient. She seems to have developed a personal animosity towards me because I questioned whether she belongs in the project where she does no technical work but only planning -- which can be done from elsewhere. She behaves very autocratically towards me and then boasts about her achievements as if she has done the whole work.
Response: If your boss consistently treats you unfairly, you need to find out whether she has truly singled you out or whether other people she supervises have the same feeling. If all of her subordinates feel approximately the same way, you should cooperate with each other to develop a way to improve the situation.
Assuming that your assessment of the situation is accurate, that you are the main person against whom she has animosity, you need to consider several possibilities:
Probably the wisest thing for you to do is take steps to heal the relationship you have with your boss. Unless one of you is likely to disappear from your workplace (get another job, etc.) improving the relationship can only improve your life.
Ask her lots of questions: How would you do this? What do you think are the most important results we can hope to achieve from this project? What suggestions would you make to improve the outcome, the speed with which work is done, etc.? Listen closely to her answers. Find out how someone from her background and experience can contribute to a better result. For example you can say something like, "You and I have different training and backgrounds. I would like to learn from you in order to understand how to achieve better results."
Showing her respect, that you take her seriously may surprise her; that may be the last thing she expects from you. It may open the door to a less combative situation.
Unfortunately, those steps may not do the trick. If she is so focused on making you look bad, you need to help her understand that by making you look good she can make herself look better as well. Give her the opportunity to make herself look foolish; if she is taking credit for work that you have done, find a way to insert elements into your work that she does not understand. If her boss questions her on those elements and she cannot explain them, it undercuts her claims of having done it herself.
It is important to acknowledge that in some cultures women are relatively new in positions of authority over men. Perhaps that is the situation in your industry or culture. She may be operating under the misconception that being tough is the only way she can prove she has power and credibility as a manager.
If you find the situation is intolerable, it is important to figure out whether there are more attractive opportunities at other workplaces. Is getting away from her worth such consequences as less pay, a longer commute, unpleasant surroundings? Perhaps an ideal job is out there waiting for you. Understanding the alternatives available to you gives you a better sense of the choices you face and the realities that dominate your career.
Be honest with yourself. Be honest with the people with whom you work. If your boss insults you, can you let her know that you feel bad? Don't accuse her of being a bad person, just say something like "When I hear someone say that about me, I feel hurt." or "I feel as if I am being treated like a 3-year-old." Making accusations only escalates the problem. Focusing on your personal interests may reduce the tension and clarify the situation.
There are many issues to consider. I wish you good luck.
Steve
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